I have started writing 100 times
but have no words
which is weird
usually the words don't stop even long after I'm too tired to write

we are gearing up for a big move
not a far move
but a big move
made bigger by the fact that the last time we moved we moved fast
and were disorganized
and much of the stuff never got unpacked
so now we are unpacking and sorting while packing and sorting

we've sold off all remnants of babies
cribs
blankets
clothes and toys
off to families that have a need
the end of an era for me
kind of sad
kind of not sad
however
fate will have the last laugh if I wind up pregnant, huh?

I'm working at the bar
but also working with my sister
and a friend two big projects
one that is taking my hobby to the career level
and the other that was my career and could be my career again
but I'm not counting any chickens until they actually hatch

So, I am also taking my LSAT in the fall
which has me seriously freaked out
as I freaked during the practice test and guessed at most of my answers
uggg!

Anyway, while bland and not that exciting
all this work has left Aimee a very dull girl this summer
and rather uninspired
hopefully inspiration comes my way soon!

Seeds of Change

I am one of those goofy people
that takes every little thing
as a sign or symbol
or maybe
I just read too many books as a kid and have learned to make foreshadowing
a part of my life
was that good foreshadowing?

This year, Aaron and have struggled for many reasons
one, my son is growing at an astronomical rate
which means he's eating at an astronomical rate...
we also have very high home heating costs
in spite of our best efforts to be green, turn down the heat...
it has been
a challenge
after covering the windows
one of our leaky doors
and closing off rooms for the winter
we got two 1000 bills in a row
it's an old house
and an old furnace
and things became a vicious cycle
can't get a new furnace because we have to pay the heat bill
can't pay the heat bill because we need a new furnace
sadly, someone froze to death hear in Michigan after his heat was shut off
so the company has been more than willing to work with us
but work with us does not mean wipe the bill away....

So we've been looking at every method to spend less
looking at how and what we're spending
and what is simply excess and what is needed
our grocery bill is one thing that stands out
we already shop at what we call the ghetto food store
the one that requires you pay for your cart
and bring your own bags and bag your groceries yourself
it has no regular brand names
and is very cheap
but our food bill is still very high
probably close to $400 per month
I mean, I live with a man/child that has grown over 2 inches in 2 months
the kid also works out for sports all the time
so he is an eating/sleeping/growing machine
his lunch yesterday was 2 hot dogs
a half of a family size bag of chips
two yogurt cups
and a bowl of ice cream
then he went to sleep...
this is normal

So, this Spring we decided to kick it old school
like my Grandmother
and grow our own little veggie garden
I have never
in all my years been able to grow a veggie garden
especially not from seeds
especially not from seeds and trying to be organic
with bugs, rabbits, squirrels, and more city deer per square mile than people
it was going to be a challenge


But, I am happy to announce
I have tomato plants
cabbage
lettuce
pumpkin
squash
hot peppers
green peppers
dill
basil
cilantro
cucumbers
green beans
peas
corn
and carrots
growing in my garden
and while the are not certified organic
I have used only organic products
to keep the pests at bay
Buddy the wonder mutt
has done a fantastic job
chasing squirrels
and after the great bunny massacre last spring
when Buddy found a nest of baby bunnies and thought they were toys
batting at them, tail wagging
until they stopped moving...
no rabbits
we use a seaweed based spray for the bugs
a fence keeps the city deer away
and the soil in this town is as black and rich as potting soil

I see this as a sign, because, foreshadowing, right?
so Aaron and I decide other changes are in order
and major changes are coming this summer
thus you will see major changes in my blog
like a segment I am calling Garage Sale Tales
and the relaunch
of my old blog
"A Year of Living Green."
which I attempted several years ago
got discouraged with the heat bill
so I quit
FAILED
I am ready to start fresh and see where it takes me and my family

In honor of a part of my childhood, lost

Cha Cha Changes

I don't know the term you use when boys
come into their own
with girls
it's blossom
girls bloom
boys?
They what?

Whatever it is they do my B is doing
and when he was itty bitty
I thought I would be sad to see this day
when he was a four year-old and I got the bad hair cut that made me really upset
and he told me I looked pretty like a girl in movies
I thought this day would be my worst
when he was a toddler and he would hover between wake and sleep
and rub the satin border of his blanket on his cheek as he slowly drifted
I thought this day would make me cry
but it's actually very exciting and fun
like watching a red ball of a baby turn into a cherub faced toddler

During wrestling this year
we noticed
B was able to build muscle
beyond his normal thin, well defined body
he was starting to actually develop and grow

Then when wrestling was over and we had to get baseball cleats
he jumped three shoe sizes
and six weeks later
two more shoe sizes
from a mens 7.5
to a mens' 10
in a matter of weeks
from 5'2" even
to 5'4 and a half in six weeks
the last 3/4 of an inch last week between a football camp physical
and getting measured in weight lifting

But beyond the physical growth
beyond the did you just drink a gallon of milk
and eat a large pizza by yourself?
beyond the
are those little tiny man biceps growing in your arms?
beyond the new found coordination and athletic ability
my sensitive smart boy
the one that likes to read sci-fi books
and has a subscription to both National Geographic and Popular Science
and wants one to Time
the one that was obsessed with Pokemon and Yu Gi Oh
with the perpetually too short pants
the one that spent hours making explosion sound effects
and created little imaginary people and wars
that wanted to name Baby G T-Rex (would have been a good name for him too)
is suddenly
much to my surprise....
the, "hot ticket," at school

I was getting a cheese burger on Sat after a day of fishing
when the Mom of a girl in B's grade approached our table
"So you know B is like the most popular boy in the school right?"
"Huh???"
Aaron and I look at each other and giggle a little
because B is what we always imagined
would be the boy that doesn't get the girl in high school
but does in college
he's a little goofy
a little too smart
a little too nice
not confident enough to be the stud on campus
"Oh ya, he's got the popular girls fighting over him."
again Aaron and I giggle a little bit
because...
really???? Are we talking about the same kid
the kid that told his 4th grade class in this hillbilly town that he wouldn't join Boy Scouts for political reasons?
The boy that still has a hard time controlling his emotions and is known to cry in public
The boys that were popular like she described when I was in school
were
dicks
to be blunt
and B is anti that guy
But what this Mom described
well
it makes sense too
she said her daughter came home from school after being out for two days sick
and said, "B asked me how I was feeling, Mom! Can you believe it? He actually noticed and cared that I was out sick."

And, it made sense
in a sea of boys who are making fun of how flat chested
or not flat chested you are
in a sea of boys that think being rude makes them cooler
B, in his, "you look like a girl in movies," way
is making the girls feel special
he's talking to them like they are people
in spite of all the hormones racing around all their little mini-adult bodies
he's acting normal
and that's setting him apart
he's not making a big deal out of the gender difference
and it's making the girls swoon

It doesn't hurt that he easily fits into the
Zac Effron pretty boy look...